“What are good wings without the courage to fly.” — Atticus
I believe that the secret to happiness is freedom, and to be free in life you have to have the courage to be free. We have so many daily struggles to get through and some people will naturally take it in their stride, and some will have to put on their brave face and trek through it. Life may feel like it is not 100 percent your life as people around us are making our decisions, commanding us what to do or putting pressure on us to do things we just don’t want to do. ‘So is this a happy life for you,’ it takes courage to step up in life to be the empowered woman you deserve to be and go after your dreams, you have the courage in you, you just have to step out of your comfort zone and believe in yourself. You will never live a happy life if you’re always worried about what others think of you. Letting go of your worries gives us freedom to focus on our own life and knowing what our purpose and goals are to fulfil to live a happy life.
Im sure you have had struggles in life when you are just not yourself. You will look back and reflect on how it has taught you to have stronger beliefs and strengths. I want to touch on self care and self love these are the elements you put into your life for a better life.
Why worry about how people may perceive you if you do put up some boundaries and say no to things, this is your life after all so you live it to suit your needs. Don’t be beaten on whatever happened yesterday as it no longer matters today. Today is another day so get back on your feet and back on track and move closer to your dreams and goals. You may not be the strongest, courageous or have that confidence you desire, but thats ok what matters is you are taking steps every single day where you are faced with obstacles, people and problems that cant stop you from moving on only you can, and today you can make a choice that nothing and no one will stand in your way. Trying is not the same as doing, we all fall down and rarely do we succeed the first time round but just remember you have the power to say this is not how my story ends. There are so many personal barriers that stop us from reaching our life goals, we can sit here and think about so many reasons why we cant do things but the truth of the matter is when something is that important to you, you will always find a way to make it happen.
Your heart is a very powerful tool, be in tune with it and stop listening to the voice in your head that is telling you you cant do it, because we absolutely can do anything. So many people are scared to fail, to take that fall and to never get up and be as strong as they were before, this is ok as life is showing you that this was just not the right path for you, thank the universe for redirecting you to a better path that is awaiting you.
2016/2017 were very raw years, it felt like everything was hitting me really hard and fast. I was constantly feeling challenged, abused, I had legal battles to push through and most importantly I had to keep my head strong and focussed for my children whilst dealing with ‘shitty times. There were days where I didn’t want to get out of bed, if it wasn’t for my children and hubby I probably wouldn’t have, and when I did solider on I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day. I couldn’t tell people what I was going through except my closest peeps in my world as I was mostly dealing with a psychopath. I was literally just coping, in saying that I still managed to put on a smile but deeply hurting on the inside. This goes with the saying ‘you cant judge a book by it cover,’ and you 100% cant. Peoples perceptions play a big role in society, they are only seeing how great other peoples lives looks on the outside but have no idea what this person has been through in life to get where they are today, or what struggles or wounds these people have within them. People will judge you unfortunately on what they see you doing in your life but don’t know anything about you. I definitely lost a degree of myself over the past two years, but have found myself again this time stronger and more empowered and believe I have gained a degree. Once 2018 ticked over it was such a relief as things finally started to turn and change and I could see more sunshine in the world, and no more darkness. You have to remember that people will try and take you out when they are not in a good place, and they will target you to make themselves feel better, so be very wary and listen to your intuition when things just don’t feel right. Im sure a majority of people reading this have felt totally lost in this world from time to time but we just have to stay focussed, spring out of bed every morning no matter how dark we may be feeling, and put one foot in front of the other, breathe and be grateful you are living in an amazing world that is waiting for you. When we are going through ‘shitty’ times this is you being tested in life to improve and strengthen yourself for the better. There are endless opportunities waiting for you, so BELIEVE in yourselves my angels.
The world we are living in needs us to be resilient. We are dealing with a lot of different personalities on a daily basis, some will accuse you to try and tear you apart and they will do this for their own personal gain.
We live in a fake world unfortunately where people will use people to try and get places in life through fake friendships. Im sure this resonates with the majority of the population out there, i’ve experienced it first hand plenty of times especially recently as you have read in my previous posts. We all have our own story, whether thats from when we are born to where we are now. We can talk about blame or emphasise what happened in our story, who we are now, things that have happened, people we have met or events that have taken place throughout our journey. Our story can either be a positive or a negative element of our life, we all go through ‘shitty’ hard times but we can always turn it around to make it a positive. We are constantly being tested and challenged for a reason, its part of making us a stronger being, and knowing we can lift ourselves up off the ground and grow our beautiful wings back. It is natural for us to look back at our past and think ‘this is not how I imagined my life to be or why did that awful situation happen to me,’
The story you keep telling yourself is holding you back, let it go and believe you do have a purpose to fulfil, change your mindset and fill your heart with passion and desires to strive to be that person you deserve to be. Never let what somebody else says to you distract you from your goals, when ‘shit’ things happen to you go through the motions, release those tears, talk to the universe as they are always looking after you and be grateful for the positives in your life. Surround yourself with people who love you from the inside and are not going to abuse your trust and play their insane games.
We all see ourselves in a certain light, some days its bright and happy and some days its dark and down. Keep moving forward on your dark and down days as you have more strength then you give yourself credit for. If you are going through a rough time at the moment, believe this will be over soon, reset your goals, commit to yourself, and believe in your heart you can conquer this. This is your life, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be who you are and no one can take this away from you. Empowerment comes from making mistakes, having struggles and your wounds and imperfections are your beauty.
The first month my emails were running hot, not from suppliers or head office but from my business partner. He would send me emails in the evening knowing it was my family time with my children, and they would continue on into the early hours of the morning. The content in the emails were his self importance, self praise and how insignificant my involvement had been in the business. To neutralise these accusations I spent more hours at work, and the more hours I spent working in the business the more outrageous his abusive criticisms grew.
I was dealing with a very oppressive personality that was frequently hiding behind his computer screen, commonly known as the ‘keyboard warrior.’ He wasn’t someone that would call and talk about issues he would attack instead. In retrospect I was dealing with a narcissist as he was projecting negative impacts on my everyday life and my relationships in my business. You see narcissists tend to be great first impressionists coming across as charismatic and personable, but also quiet and shy socially. The draining emails I was receiving daily were very controlling that he would tend to externalise blame, pinning the blame on everyone but himself. Endeavouring to sort out issues was impossible as his mind was always made up and there was no way of changing it, as narcissists are some of the most vindictive people you’ll ever meet.
The mat beneath me was slowly being dragged out sneakily by him as he was solely making business decisions on his own accord, even though we had a 50/50 partnership. He was constantly focussing on a emotional reaction from me as this then would give him fuel and supply to keep attacking. So in hindsight reacting was giving away my power, responding to his nonsense was empowering myself and not getting caught in his trap. His flip flopping between being nice and then being abusive was his cycle and it would literally be a 180 degree flip.
I will share on my next post how I got through this stage on my journey.
We are not alone in these situations life throws at us, we just have to find ways to get through them. The message that I want to express to you all is what ever we are experiencing in our daily lives we can get through because we are indestructible. When certain circumstances appear around us and make us feel unworthy, there is always ways we can get through them. We have so much support out there we just need to find which coping mechanism gets us through. We are all beautifully different souls and all hold different emotions, as I said in my journey post we can all lift ourselves up off the ground when we get knocked down, and our wings will grow back every time they get clipped.
We cross paths with certain people in our life to be tested and pushed to our limits, this can be such a struggle for us to get through. Self belief is what we need to practice in our daily life to be able to conquer these situations. You see my journey was so hard as I was a business owner getting verbally and mentally abused for over two years, but I pushed up that hill through it all and never did I throw my arms up and walk away like he wanted me to. We are all empowered beings and have the right to protect ourselves and our surroundings and certainly not be treated like someones possession.
As I proudly stand in the office of my brand new business, I breathe a sigh of relief that finally my long term dream had come true. All the tension and build up I have had to endure over the past three years has paid off. As I have a smile from ear to ear I sit down at my desk and attend to my daily duties, all of a sudden the office doors opens and its my business partner, he storms into the office and closes the door behind him. As I look up at him all I could see was a very angry man sweating and shaking.
He Abruptly yells at me saying ‘what have you been doing, there is no one in here, I have been told that you have been showing friends and family around and not doing your daily duties’. I was stunned, he was yelling at me like he owned me and I was his property… I could not believe what I was hearing, all I could think about was ‘is this really happening’, and ‘what the hell have I got myself into’. My blood was boiling, I projected back saying ‘OMG we haven’t even been open a week and I am trying to find my feet in here’. I stopped myself from saying anymore as I wasn’t going to let my business partner treat me like I was his possession so I stormed out of the building with tears streaming down my face.
I walked up and down the road breathing deep breaths and pinching myself, hoping this was a dream and that I hadn’t just been verbally abused by a very angry man, whom I hadn’t seen this side of before. I had committed so much of my heart and soul into this business and I definitely did not financially sign up for someone who can think they could abuse and have authority over me. I called my husband and he took me home so I could calm myself down. I felt sick to the stomach but I just had to pick myself up, calm myself down and go back in to carry on with the day.
Do you feel you are constantly getting your wings clipped in life? Let me disclose to you what I mean about this. We all experience times throughout our life when everything just feels hard and all you want to do is runaway and hide from the world. Don’t worry we all have to go through tests in life to reinstate our wings, but what we don’t realise is that we are continuously growing our beautiful wings. Every time they are being clipped it affects us and all of a sudden our vibration drops and other people around us bring us down. Sometimes our minds are not letting us let go of the past, but we can switch off our minds by listening to our heart and trusting the future. We can all come out of our cocoon, spread our wings and lift ourselves up off the ground because we all deserve to fly in this life time, but until you spread your beautiful wings you will have no idea how far you can fly, it will be endless. Life is about creating yourself to the best possible potentials. I will share with you how I found my wings and share my journey on how I ‘reinstated my wings.’