The first month my emails were running hot, not from suppliers or head office but from my business partner. He would send me emails in the evening knowing it was my family time with my children, and they would continue on into the early hours of the morning. The content in the emails were his self importance, self praise and how insignificant my involvement had been in the business. To neutralise these accusations I spent more hours at work, and the more hours I spent working in the business the more outrageous his abusive criticisms grew.
I was dealing with a very oppressive personality that was frequently hiding behind his computer screen, commonly known as the ‘keyboard warrior.’ He wasn’t someone that would call and talk about issues he would attack instead. In retrospect I was dealing with a narcissist as he was projecting negative impacts on my everyday life and my relationships in my business. You see narcissists tend to be great first impressionists coming across as charismatic and personable, but also quiet and shy socially. The draining emails I was receiving daily were very controlling that he would tend to externalise blame, pinning the blame on everyone but himself. Endeavouring to sort out issues was impossible as his mind was always made up and there was no way of changing it, as narcissists are some of the most vindictive people you’ll ever meet.
The mat beneath me was slowly being dragged out sneakily by him as he was solely making business decisions on his own accord, even though we had a 50/50 partnership. He was constantly focussing on a emotional reaction from me as this then would give him fuel and supply to keep attacking. So in hindsight reacting was giving away my power, responding to his nonsense was empowering myself and not getting caught in his trap. His flip flopping between being nice and then being abusive was his cycle and it would literally be a 180 degree flip.
I will share on my next post how I got through this stage on my journey.